This past week our family was out at the Indoor Sports
Center here in Eau Claire. We were there for Logan’s (our 4 year old) ‘Sport
Tykes’ soccer class. It was the last week of a 6 week class and as the students
wrapped up their 45 minute session, the instructors invited the parents onto
the field.
As the parents all filed onto the field, we were immediately
engaged not just with our children but with each other as well. I smiled at,
shook hands with, and talked to other parents I had sat quietly next to for the
past 6 weeks. We were strangers to each
other, hiding behind smartphones and tablets, despite having sat on the same
bleachers for five weeks watching our kids ‘together’. Once on the court together, there was a spirit
of camaraderie, community, and of course… our children and the game. We were
there because our kids were there. We were in the game together.
They ran up and down the court chasing and kicking the ball.
There was no order beyond the red and blue jerseys. It was organized chaos at
best, and it was beautiful. There was joy, there was fun, and we were in the
middle of it with our children.
The game was their teacher and our job was to encourage them
and cheer for them as they played. The parents were instructed to form a
perimeter and when the ball came near us our job was to simply help keep it in
play.
As I reflected on this experience, the metaphor for how we
walk with our students ran deeper than I could ever give words to. So let it
take you where it will.
Most notably, it seems as students grow and enter new stages
of life, it becomes difficult for us as parents to know where we belong in the
mix. We’re not sure how involved to be, or when to listen instead of talk. We
begin to feel unwanted, unneeded, and unsure of what we’d do if we were asked
to get in the game. Naturally we sit out. And watch. Or worse, we restrict
their participation in the game. Not because we don’t want to be in the game,
but because we’re not sure of our place, and we’re losing the control we’ve
always had.
What’s the alternative? Get. In. The Game. Your student
needs you. They need you in a way that is different than they’ve needed you
before, but they need you nonetheless. Rather than losing control, your method
of influence must change. They need your encouragement, your support, and your
presence as they learn, and experience life as they’ve never experienced it.
They need to talk through what they think about what they
see. In many ways the role you play in your students life, although less direct
than before, is more important than ever.
Your role isn’t to control the game or what position they
play, take their steps or kick the ball for them. You role is to be there. You
don’t have to be an expert at the game, none of us are.
Here’s an excerpt from an earlier post about the myth of
“Perfect Parents”.
“What would happen if
parents began to see the family in the same way believers should view the
church, as a human part of God’s design to demonstrate who He is to the world?
Don’t miss the significance of that vantage point. Our humanness actually
becomes the platform from which He demonstrates His power, goodness and love to
His people. It is an amazing thought when you realize that both the church and
the home are comprised of broken, imperfect people through whom God has chosen
to tell His story.
What if it’s not God’s
plan for parents or leaders to restore the church and the home to be a sublime,
utopian state? What if, instead, it’s God plan to do an amazing work with the
church and the home in order to put His grace on display? Imagine the Supreme
Creator visibly and actively involved in both entities—healing, loving,
restoring and re-creating a broken people in order to demonstrate His glory and
plan of redemption.
God is at work telling
a story of restoration and redemption through family. Never buy into the myth
that you need to become the “right” kind of parent before God can use you in
your children’s lives. Instead, learn to cooperate with whatever God desires to
do in your heart today so your children will have a front-row seat to the grace
and goodness of God.“
Get. In. The Game. That’s where your student is. That’s
where your student needs you, and it’s where you belong.