Get in the Parenting Game

This past week our family was out at the Indoor Sports Center here in Eau Claire. We were there for Logan’s (our 4 year old) ‘Sport Tykes’ soccer class. It was the last week of a 6 week class and as the students wrapped up their 45 minute session, the instructors invited the parents onto the field.

As the parents all filed onto the field, we were immediately engaged not just with our children but with each other as well. I smiled at, shook hands with, and talked to other parents I had sat quietly next to for the past 6 weeks.  We were strangers to each other, hiding behind smartphones and tablets, despite having sat on the same bleachers for five weeks watching our kids ‘together’.  Once on the court together, there was a spirit of camaraderie, community, and of course… our children and the game. We were there because our kids were there. We were in the game together.

They ran up and down the court chasing and kicking the ball. There was no order beyond the red and blue jerseys. It was organized chaos at best, and it was beautiful. There was joy, there was fun, and we were in the middle of it with our children.

The game was their teacher and our job was to encourage them and cheer for them as they played. The parents were instructed to form a perimeter and when the ball came near us our job was to simply help keep it in play.

As I reflected on this experience, the metaphor for how we walk with our students ran deeper than I could ever give words to. So let it take you where it will.

Most notably, it seems as students grow and enter new stages of life, it becomes difficult for us as parents to know where we belong in the mix. We’re not sure how involved to be, or when to listen instead of talk. We begin to feel unwanted, unneeded, and unsure of what we’d do if we were asked to get in the game. Naturally we sit out. And watch. Or worse, we restrict their participation in the game. Not because we don’t want to be in the game, but because we’re not sure of our place, and we’re losing the control we’ve always had.

What’s the alternative? Get. In. The Game. Your student needs you. They need you in a way that is different than they’ve needed you before, but they need you nonetheless. Rather than losing control, your method of influence must change. They need your encouragement, your support, and your presence as they learn, and experience life as they’ve never experienced it. They need to talk through what they think about what they see. In many ways the role you play in your students life, although less direct than before, is more important than ever.

Your role isn’t to control the game or what position they play, take their steps or kick the ball for them. You role is to be there. You don’t have to be an expert at the game, none of us are.

Here’s an excerpt from an earlier post about the myth of “Perfect Parents”.

“What would happen if parents began to see the family in the same way believers should view the church, as a human part of God’s design to demonstrate who He is to the world? Don’t miss the significance of that vantage point. Our humanness actually becomes the platform from which He demonstrates His power, goodness and love to His people. It is an amazing thought when you realize that both the church and the home are comprised of broken, imperfect people through whom God has chosen to tell His story. 

What if it’s not God’s plan for parents or leaders to restore the church and the home to be a sublime, utopian state? What if, instead, it’s God plan to do an amazing work with the church and the home in order to put His grace on display? Imagine the Supreme Creator visibly and actively involved in both entities—healing, loving, restoring and re-creating a broken people in order to demonstrate His glory and plan of redemption. 

God is at work telling a story of restoration and redemption through family. Never buy into the myth that you need to become the “right” kind of parent before God can use you in your children’s lives. Instead, learn to cooperate with whatever God desires to do in your heart today so your children will have a front-row seat to the grace and goodness of God.“

Get. In. The Game. That’s where your student is. That’s where your student needs you, and it’s where you belong.